For someone as stubborn as me, it's difficult to tell when you should remain steadfast and thick headed about an issue or when you should really just let it go and try to move beyond it. After twenty two plus years, my father and I will always have fundamental differences and I don't think I'll ever be able to understand him. I don't know if it's the artist "crazy" mentality or if it's his complete detachment from reality but he can never think practically. There's not much else I can do but hide inside of myself.
On a another note, I'm slightly confused about my next few years in school. Originally, I was set on museum studies but I'm scared of going into something so specific. This could completely define my future! Scary. But plenty of museum studies/education programs include anthropology and history. I can't decide if I want to focus more on art or what. Buuut my undergraduate degree would actually help me if I go the anthropology route. I just don't know if I want to. Oh graduate schoolers and those going to be enrolled shortly, tell me how you made the decision please oh please. Initially, I wanted to apply to Columbia, Univ. of Chicago, and Northwestern. I've now decided (granted a very early decision) to apply to Brown, Johns Hopkins, and NYU. We'll see how this all changes. I guess first step is take the GREs and give my professors advance notice about me possibly asking them to write me a rec. Baby steps.
On the topic of my baby, Kartoshka has been recovering well. There was a shaky time where she would just lie and shake uncontrollably. She refused to eat or drink water, but would just lie her head. This would be normal behavior for a kitten who's just been spayed, but this was after 2 days of her back to normal. I was so scared. She usually meows when she's in pain or needs something but she would just lie there helpless with her little shaved belly. I don't know how actual moms do it when their kids get sick. As Hanna and I as well as Danielle Stelly and I have been saying, the biological clock is ticking. So is it true ladies? Is there some bizarre innate want to settle down and nest? History hasn't lied, this is about the time where us female folk
should be getting married and getting buns in the ovens, but isn't that frightening!?!??! Tangential mind scare. I apologize.
I think I'm full of these, given the time I have to let my mind wander, but don't you sometimes wish Halloween was more than just a reason for us to get drunk and rub up against each other? I don't know. I debate on what I should do on Halloween. Wow, I actually feel old despite my youth.
This post will be concluded by what my mom has told me about my Chinese horoscope. Apparently, last month and the month prior to that, I've been lost and confused. Life stood temporarily still and I didn't want to change any of it. Apparently, according to this month, I've found new motivation. She said to be careful of others trying to take advantage of me, but to make a plan and stand strong in pursuing it. December 4th, the day I'm going to take my GREs, is actually my luckiest day. Do I actually believe this stuff? I can't help but agree with it a little. Last two months were hell, but it's gotten better. Here's to looking to the future.
Oh and it finally feels like fall. Yes.
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